Life itself is amazing!
Easily, many people become desensitized by the cultures we are a part of. Incredible things are happening all around us, everyday. Essential tools of life that we could not live without are often forgotten or assumed. The fact that we continue to breathe, without thinking about it, or that we can break a bone and our bodies will regenerate and heal, again and again, is so amazing! There is so much to be grateful for!
Pregnancy and birth are seen all the time and might even be described as a miracle, but are often so routinely viewed that some of the sacredness of it can be lost in it's wake. I am so grateful to be a healthy woman and to know how to grow life from within me and give birth to healthy children without even knowing how I do it and while hardly even thinking about it! This is the most incredible thing I can imagine, the most amazing thing I could ever do.
Satori is amazing. Her lessons to me are amazing. Her lessons to so many others are amazing. So many people who have heard of her passing have paused to hold their loved ones. Several people I know who have been subdued by miscarriages have lifted pain that they had not known they would ever be able to lift, by sharing a part of Satori's blessings. And our family and community has shared her blessing in being drawn together and strengthened in random ways of sharing in her life and death.
One blessing I want to share ("my plug," I think and silently laugh) that I have found amazing is that J.C. Penny has a memorial package. We had a portrait session there when Satori was 12 days old. When we called to ask if we could buy more pictures from that day, we were offered a c.d. with copy rights waved and 6 free portrait sheets! How beautiful that is! These are the pictures I am sharing today. Many thanks to this company for its generosity and compassion. And how sad that this is common enough for this package to exist. Blessings to all the other families who have lost their loved ones and sadly, all those who will.
I believe the greatest gift Satori has given us all, is to remind us to drop into our hearts and to center ourselves from a position of love. Some people believe that humans use approximately 99.75 percent of their brains every day, while the remaining .25 percent of our actions are guided through "intuition." When we really check in with ourselves we are always directed in the best possible way. To do this, we must clear our minds and go deep into our hearts. This is who Satori Inchante is: the heart of awakening! This is amazing!
I will always hold our angel in my heart. The only way I could ever really know her was from within. So while my heart feels such a deep and horrid heaviness, I call to her for strength and feel her love to lift my heart. And no, it does not always happen so easily. But when I am distraught with pain and thinking too much, I know I can think about who she is. She is love. And her love comes from her into me and from me into her and from us into all things. Like a mirrored rainbow of all colors blended into all of life, shining into the pain and lifting it out of darkness. 
I am beginning on a sort of spiritual walk (in the case of this blog, perhaps spiritual "talk") to carry on her story, as I had carried her and will always hold her in my heart. I do this so that it might help other people who feel this pain, or any kind of pain or heaviness. And so that I continue to release my own weights from within. And furthermore, to set free her love and messages to the world, even if only by putting it into words and releasing it...so that we may all feel her love and grow from within our spirits.
Sometimes grieving involves allowing the body to take on illness and purge it likewise. I have been very dedicated to honoring all the chaotic manifestations of grief as it occurs in myself and my family, while being very careful not to become ill so I remain strong for my family. After a few late nights of blogging last week, I began feeling very run down and on the verge on illness. Blogging, for me needs to be done in the late night hours after my "wild ones" go to sleep, which is drains my ability to re-charge fully. I acknowledge this and honor myself and my family by resting when I need to and honor all of life by writing when I am able. Understandably, blogging will be somewhat sporadic.
One realization I have had is that strength does not mean taking on extra all by myself. Strength is allowing myself to be present for the needs of my family, my own needs and those of other people, while drawing strength in from those who offer it, the earth and the many angels surrounding us in light, love and protective guidance...one source of which is my beautiful daughter, our beloved angel Satori. This is amazing!
"All things in life offer us opportunities to learn and grow...
sometimes those lessons are not without tears...
those tears are to me a spring rain washing away the solemn grey of winter's sorrows.
Tears that clear the panes of our greenhouses
for songs of sunshine, urging us to grow.
From the husky hearts of pain
such seeds of love can only burst forth anew
with stouter stems and brighter blooms..."
( ~ a universal message through my living angel of light, Michael ~ )
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